


Zombies, Gods, and Science, oh my!

by swag_canada



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: ... slightly more angsty than it sounds, Carlos-centric, Cecil is Inhuman, Coulson is Awesome, M/M, Strexcorp is Evil, aka that one time when the vague yet menacing government agency turned out to be S.H.E.I.L.D., and apparently they're tight with Thor, as is Kevin, as per norm, but really why is blood so difficult to wash out of labcoats, excessive use of timeskips, like he always is, like shit man they start a motherfucking zombie apocalypse, mostly night vale with avengers thrown in, zombies n' shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 18:25:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/995086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swag_canada/pseuds/swag_canada
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos never expected his quiet life as a professor to change so violently. He never expected to find a brother in the midst of an apocalypse. He never expected to be singled out by the government. But most importantly, he never expected Cecil. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Aka where StrexCorp starts a zombie apocalypse, science saves the day, and S.H.E.I.L.D. ends up getting involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zombies, Gods, and Science, oh my!

March 13th, 2009

Where there is Day, there must be Night.  
Where there is Dark, there must be Light.  
Where there is Love, there must be Hate.  
Where there is Choice, there must be Fate.  
Welcome, to Night Vale. 

Greetings, listeners. As you may have noticed, there appears to be an eerie luminescent fog heading our way. It’s coming from the direction of Desert Bluffs, so, it’s no stretch to say it certainly can’t be good news. According to John Peters, you know, the farmer, the fog’s a faint pukish-green colour, and smells faintly of rotting flesh. Unfortunately , he went indoors before it reached him, so we have no more information.

This just in. We have official warning by the City Council to ‘Do not, under ANY circumstances, go outside.’ So stay indoors, where nothing can hurt you but the crippling hypocrisy in the recesses of your petty, insatiable mortal mind. Perhaps do your bi-annual blood ritual in payment of the eternal and unknowable gods a bit early, just in case.

Now, for our community calendar.  
On Monday, everything’s BOGO at Big Rico’s. Come in to buy a slice of one delicious pizza, and get a second slice, free. No one does a slice like Big Rico’s, no one.  
For Tuesday, it’s Library Renewal day. Everyone is mandated to go renew their library cards from 5-7 on Tuesday. Remember: Librarians smell fear, and do not show mercy.  
Wednesday is yet another PTA meeting.  
Thursday is Thor’s Day. Make sure to leave out all sacrificial offerings in honour of this great and powerful god at 9:30 so they can properly be collected.  
Friday is national Help a Neighbor day. Don’t forget to help supply your friendly neighbor to anything and everything they may need, which includes: Carrying in the shopping bags. A second-hand crescent wrench. Burying the body and dispelling the evidence. Walking the dogs. Helping paint the fence. Give out dry, tasteless scones. Help pull some weeds in the garden. Or, pumpernickel.  
And that has been community calendar.

More news on our top story. The fog has reached the center of town, and is still spreading outward. Citizens are still advised to stay in their homes, for the effects of the fog can be deadly. We do not yet know in which ways their danger appears, but it is unanimously agreed on by not only the Sheriff’s Secret Police and the City Council, but by the Vague but Menacing Government Agency as well. Now if I do say so myself, that is some pretty reliable advice. Never have all three agreed on something before. So, I repeat, STAY INDOORS. More on this story as it unfolds.

And now, the weather.

 

Date: unknown  
Time: unknown  
Location: somewhere along the Canadian border

There was blood everywhere. Not that it was surprising, given the circumstances, but it was still an annoyance. It would take ages to wash the bloodstains out of Carlos’s labcoat. Why did they make labcoats white, anyway? Scientists dealt with chemicals and special kinds of mud and bodily fluids and stuff, right? So why make them so hard to clean if you only wear them to get dirty? It makes no sense.

But, of course, now is not the time to ponder such things. Now is the time to kill zombies. Or, at least, the time to permanently maim the zombies in such a fashion that they are unable to kill us. Which is honestly a little too effortful for my tastes, but what other options do I have? It’s zombie-killing time, bitches.

 

Official Records for March 13th, 2009

It started as a rumble, faint and quiet in the still desert air. Slowly it crept closer, further, upwards, out. It traveled along, going everywhere, covering the land in a faint, cloying sheen. No one knew what It was. But one thing was universally understood: It could not be good. It spread to cities, pressing up against buildings, lying against windows and walls, swirling up in the atmosphere, misty tendrils reaching out for whatever It could find. For whoever it could find. Those that It found, bless their souls, were different after their encounter. Somehow, they were empty, mindless, soulless. Hungry. They were barely human.

And from coast, to coast, to coast, almost as if all of North America was under a bubble, It spread like a toxin, infecting everything It encountered. Even once It cleared away, foul sludge free from the atmosphere, the damage left from its rotten touch remained. It was, as it shall always be remembered, the beginning of the end.

 

October 12th, 2011

Carlos frowned, shouldering his bag as he looked at the sign in front of him. Night Vale, population: 6,251. Or now, 6,252. He didn't want to be here. After everything he'd discovered, everything he'd been through, it would only be fair that he should get to live a peaceful life somewhere, doing science with his surrogate brother without a care in the world. Maybe even go back to his old job as a college professor, as unappreciated as it was. 

Either way, it should by all means not involve him going to do a dangerous, and far from legal for that matter, goddamn espionage mission at the request of some unheard of yet influential government organisation. He didn't even know what it's name stood for, for crying out loud, and he was going, out of his own time and effort, to help it? He must be mad. seriously, S.H.E.I.L.D? What the hell was that supposed to represent? But there he was, standing at the edge of the town that was almost certainly going to bring about his death. The only consolation he could find was that, at the very least, he wasn't expected to do this alone. Not that it made him feel much better that his best friend was in the near same situation he was. Carlos could only pray that Desert Buffs was less... dangerous than Night Vale. But, he didn't have time to worry about that. He had his own problems to deal with. With a deep breath, the scientist took a step, finally crossing the border of that small desert town. 

"Man up, Carlos. There's no going back now."

**Author's Note:**

> Not entirely sure where I'm going with this, but I know I'm going somewhere. Also, the other chapters will be longer, this is just an intro, so don't worry. Anyway, if you have any comments or advice, just send it my way. It would be much appreciated.


End file.
